Intro Text

"Camilla: Indeed it's time. We all have laid aside disguise but you.
Stranger: I wear no mask."
- Robert W. Chambers, The King in Yellow

Monday, 22 August 2016

How to Be a Stardigger, Part 1

Firstly, I must draw your attention to the successful creation of my “About Me” page. After a few hours milling about the spaceport and volumes of advice from the locals (Throrians have an unerring and unfortunately misguided belief in their brilliance with computers) have finally led me to victory. Now you can peruse my brief but thrilling biography at your leisure!

As you can see in this picture, I am toiling away in the corner of an ancient structure we have just uncovered, applying my prodigious archaeological skills to reconstructing a carved seated figure from many small fragments. My new Throrian friend Tumac, has observed that my artistic abilities would be more fruitfully employed in carving “saffonir stuff” (souvenirs) to sell to tourists. This proposal is most tempting, but I fear I must decline. My stardigging duties are far too demanding at present.

Are you curious about what it takes to be a Stardigger? You’re in luck. Today’s transmission is all about the tools you will need to follow me on one of my intergalactic archaeological expeditions.. With the help of some truly arcane cinematic equipment (Thror’s atmosphere is hostile to modern technology) and some steady-handed (and very friendly) Throrian tribesmen, I have even managed to bring you a video all the way from outer space. Please pardon the uneven sound quality, the sound waves may get garbled slightly as they pass Earth’s atmosphere. All I had to do in return for the favor was buy a few handmade mugs to give out to my “spicy friends” and “future Throrian husband.” I would post some pictures, but I’m afraid the mugs are a little too “spicy” for general consumption. I like to keep my blog PG13.

This is Part 1 (Part 2 will become available as soon as I manage to chase a colony of flying lizards out of my satellite dish and establish them in new nesting grounds). Watch and listen closely before eagerly sending in your application. Only the best and brightest will be selected to join our team at Planet Thror’s very first Intergalactic Archaeological Institute.

*Quick note: It is taking more time than I had anticipated to transmit this video and I really can't spend any more time at the spaceport. I must get back to the site, and if I have to watch one more tourist posing as a seductive ash mummy in the photo booth I will be sick. Keep watching this page. If the Essences of the Nine Strata will it, the video should eventually materialise beneath this message.


                        

4 comments:

  1. My Liege,

    I look forward to when the intergalactic waves allow you to upload the video.

    - An aspiring stardigger

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    1. I solemly vow the video will be released as soon as intergalactic forces allow. Always a joy to welcome an aspiring stardigger into our ranks!

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  2. Brain surgery and archaeology of space, all in one place! Awesome! Cannot wait for my ticket to Thror to arrive!

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    1. Thror is a multi-faceted planet! We look forward to your visit. Be sure to stop by the Market and pick up some refreshing Black Heart fruit. (The Furry Giants won't work with you unless you bring them presents).

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